SORRY, announces the unhappy face on the cover.
Inside is even more contrite, with a sign saying: I’m SO Sorry.
“Sorreee! My bad!”
This is a card for those times you gotta apologize. Go ahead, you can do it. We’ll help.
From a Yom Kippur list:
I’m sorry for:
1. I’m sorry for being late.
2. for the occasional blip – leaving a cardigan or my phone somewhere, thinking I had made a reservation when I hadn’t, forgetting my social security card at home when I went to change my address on my driver’s license. For wasting time beating myself up over these things instead of just letting them go.
3. for thinking I was too smart or didn’t have the time to read the directions.
4. for the times I snapped at my family because I was stressed about something that had nothing to do with them. I’m sorry they get the brunt of my moodiness because they love me unconditionally, and that I take advantage of that.
5. for passing judgment when I should’ve approached a situation, or individual, with open-mindedness and compassion.
6. for the times I made things competitive. All along I was only competing against myself, because I was insecure and acting defensive.
7. for the times I showed up to something without fully “showing up.”
8. for taking shit when I should’ve said something.
9. for not standing up for someone when I should have.
10. for all of the time spent on my phone and email and social media and fixating on the fact that other people are watching me live out my life.
11. for the times I resorted to bringing someone else down to bring myself up, and for taking pleasure in mean-spirited and or unproductive gossip.
12. I didn’t slow down and read over that email before I sent it.
13. that I let a boy dictate my own feelings of self-worth.
14. for the days that I didn’t give 100% at work or in an exercise class/run or to my clients.
15. for ordering in when I could’ve made dinner.
16. for the days I missed my (daily) morning journaling practice.
17. for giving into peer pressure and doing things that I actually didn’t want to do at all.
18. for being too hard on myself.
19. for getting in my own way.
20. for not saying “I don’t know,” and pretending I knew instead.
Additional, extreme apologies:
Sorry I painted the word ‘twat’ on your garage door. ~David Shrigley
I am so sorry. I wish you knew even one tenth of one percent of how sorry I am. It was my fault. Can I kill myself here, or should I do it outside so the mess on your carpet doesn’t upset your mother? ~Laurie Halse Anderson
I DID NOT SLAP YOU. I HIGH-FIVED YOUR FACE.
Never ruin an apology with an excuse. ~Ben Franklin
“Sorreee! My bad!”